The Eagle Has Landed! (a couple of days ago)

Sorry folks, we arrived home on Friday. We were very exhausted and road worn. Since leaving Montana, we drove about 500 miles per say for five straight days. Add onto that getting kids fed, washed, and in bed, and that makes for a very tired pair of parents at the end of the day.

We drove through most cities without any delay, except St. Louis. I now have placed St. Louis on my hated cities list. Multiple interstates intersect downtown, and we were getting off one and entering onto another in the heart of the city. (I'm sure you see a Griswald Moving Vacation moment coming since I'm writing about it.) When we entered the city, there was a sign that told us our interstate was closed to all traffic. The detour was not marked to well in advance and we were not able to change lanes with the gypsy parade in order to exit. So now we are in the middle of busy St. Louis traffic and trying to find an alternate route.

Don't worry, we are resourceful and found a different route. When we got to this exit, there was a construction sign that read no trucks. At this point I am driving this space shuttle size vehicle and getting mad.

If your not familiar with St. Louis, there are "rough areas" of town. We pulled into one of those areas to look at a map. The gangbangers on the street corner probably saw fresh meat pull into the neighborhood and thought to themselves, "easy pickings." Things changed when the caravan came to a stop and this thing resembling the Looney Toons Tasmanian Devil got out spinning, sputtering, swearing, and spitting. The street hoods saw this and probably thought the first horseman from the Apocalypse showed up driving a Uhaul truck and had his Corvette in tow. They quickly turned on their heels, found the nearest home to hide and in, and locked the doors. We soon found a third route, which worked well, and got on our way.

The rest of our trip went well. Now we have been busy unpacking, getting utilities and services hooked up, and getting kids into school which started this last Wednesday.

Apparently this person also had a bad UHaul experience:

Ode to Ole

Man's best friend? Sometimes. Beggar of potato chips? Always. Along with my 9 year old daughter, Ole (pronounced with a long e) has been a steadfast companion on this crazy journey. He has helped navigate, guard the truck at gas station stops, and stuck his head out the window at 50 mph to ensure we didn't run over anything that had an odd smell.

It not all fun and games, sometimes he has important duties like preventing someone from being blown away.



We drove to Sioux Falls, SD today. With great sorrow, and a tear in my eye, we passed the huge Cabela's in Mitchell, SD without stopping. The sacrifices I make for our trip's schedule.

UHauling at the Speed of Light

The Edmonton UHaul mechanic was successful. He was able to fix the truck, and about 1,000 miles later, appears for good. He took his time and found a problem that the prior mechanics overlooked. It's a long story so I will not go into detail here, but I will write about it later in Hardy Boys mystery style.

After leaving Edmonton we camped- in the rain- in a small town south of Calgary, AB. We then drove from there straight to Missoula, MT to visit my parents. We spent a well deserved four day extended weekend doing a whole lot of nothing. It was so good to unwind that this morning everyone dragged me back to the cab of the UHaul truck kicking, screaming, and crying.

We drove from Missoula, MT to Buffalo, WY (550 miles) and found a nice campground in the middle of town. I would not recommend driving all day in a behemoth UHaul, pull into a campground and set up camp, take children to the swimming pool, get them showers, and settled into bed. This is very daunting for both parents.

Speaking of the UHaul, I have never been a trailer driver. I could screw up backing a trailer with the best of them, but since my motto is “initiation by fire,” I have had to learn quickly how to drive a big truck and trailer. I can not only drive one well, but I could back a trailer through cones, all while tuning the radio with my hand stuck in a Pringles' can.

Clark Griswald is a buffoon compared to me.

Stockholm Here I Come

We were able to travel 100 miles without any truck problems today, then the air conditioning in the UHaul truck went out. When we arrived in Edmonton, AB 50 miles later we stopped and I opened the hood to find a wobbling air conditioner pulley and what sounded like gravel scraping around in the air conditioner pump. By now I pretty much have them on speed dial so I placed the call.

At first they were very prompt and had a mechanic on site within two hours, but since they don't have parts we were forced to again stay the night in order for the truck to be repaired. I had to coordinate with UHaul again about the logistics of this and they changed the plans and instructed us to turn the truck in and have a "trans-load" done. They gave me a number for a local shop and told me they were fully briefed on my situation. Once called, they had no idea what the "trans-load" was and changed the shop location. When I called that shop, it automatically forwarded me to a reservation call center in Phoenix, AZ. I called UHaul Road Assistance back and they again changed the plan and instructed me to call the Edmonton UHaul repair shop in the morning for repair, and the "trans-load" idea was scrapped. I still don't exactly know what that is.

I've had way too many idle hours during this trip. I've created a recent mathematical breakthrough, a calculation for the UHaul Repair Factor:

URF = E x H

URF= UHaul Repair Factor
E= UHaul employees you need to speak with in order to get the equipment running
H= Hours it takes from breakdown until repair

Breakdown 1: 5 employees, 26 hours, URF of 130
Breakdown 2: 3 employees, 6 hours, URF of 18
Breakdown 3: 9 employees, 22 hours (est.), URF of 198

All of you are invited to Stockholm when I receive my Nobel Prize for Economics.

Is the Truck Loaded?

Well, our traveling day wouldn't be complete without the UHaul truck breaking down yet again in the afternoon. This time we were about 150 miles west of Edmonton, AB when we heard what sounded like a gunshot. Without notice the truck began shaking from side to side. I soon realized the problem was a popped tire. After stopping the truck I found the inside rear tire had blown.

Luckily Uhaul was extremely prompt with the service. Instead of taking 26 hours, it only took them 4 hours to get me a solution. The family took up their all to familiar positions on the side of the road and waited. We all have certainly been close to nature on this trip.

Of course UHaul's solution was not having someone respond, but instead have me respond driving the truck down the shoulder of the road at 15 MPH for 30 miles- in the rain- to the nearest town while the loose retread thwacked the wheel well with every revolution of the tire. This loud thumping sounded as is if I was being chased by drum wielding jungle natives intent on boiling me alive. I've been having thump, thump, thump nightmares.

As you can guess, I have not been to happy with UHaul's customer service. On this service call the operator asked me many questions like where my trip originated at and where it ended. My favorite question from the operator during that call was, "is the truck loaded?" It took all my strength to simply answer, "Yes."

The 26th Hour

The Griswalds don’t have anything on us. We've had a very interesting last two days. It started with us leaving Beaver Creek at a good time, making good time to Haynes Junction, YT for lunch. We stopped for a quick bathroom break at a small campground and saw a grizzly bear in the campground (you never saw little girls pee so fast).

Then our little problem happened. Fifteen miles from the campground where we saw the grizzly the UHaul truck had a problem. To make a long story short, the truck's air conditioner pump seized and shredded the belt in many pieces. We were able to contact UHaul's recovery service, - which was based on the east coast- from a small single gas station in the middle of nowhere called Otter Falls Cutoff. The operator asked me for my cell phone number and a cross street where the truck was broken down. I politely informed the operator I was in the wilderness of Yukon Territory and there is no cell service or cross streets on the Alaskan Highway.

We ended up pitching the tent in the ditch of the Alaskan Highway and stayed the night Remember that bear we saw only 15 miles away, I had the kids hide the bacon from the bear under their pillows (he'll never think to look there). It took UHaul 24 hours to get someone onsite to fix the truck, and another 2 hours to fix it and get us on our way. We had to camp next to the highway, but we were definitely not happy campers.

UHaul was able to temporarily fix the truck. We drove it 70 miles into Whitehorse, YT where they will continue working on it Friday morning. We ended the day staying in a hotel and polished off the night with well-deserved shots and beer at the Boiler Room in Whitehorse.

Paws on the Wheel

Black and elegant
It sits through the night
Ignoring the world
And all its' plight

Its presence forgotten
The world is asleep
Except one little cat
Who just wants a peek

I mean really who wouldn't
Want to stop and to stare
At the black Vette's charm
This cat was so there

While the owner was asleep
The little cat climbed
Around on the hood
Leaving tracks in the grime

Such a surprise for the man
When he noticed in chock
The small little prints
Cuz he'd only feared rocks

Lucky, the cat, for he got away
While the man shook his head
Cuz if he ever saw it
That cat would be dead

Poor little cat
It had a smart plan to steal
That big black Corvette
His paws just couldn't reach the wheel.